Here it is. The truth as I know it - I've finally found the thing that I enjoy doing. Something that I could see doing every day (yes, including weekends), could potentially make a living doing, and still could be with my kid regularly.
I went to art school, learned how to think well (I think) and learned execution (of artwork, that is). And then I gave in to the fear of inability, of not being 'successful' and I took the chicken's way out. I started managing art rather than doing it myself.*
Now, after being ousted, I've had the opportunity to decide what it is that I like to do. I like to create art. I like to draw, I love to paint, I absolutely love to communicate something. After some false starts - and a lot of fear - I think I've also realized - at the least the start of - my style. My uptight, fussy, slightly cartoonish style. And now I'm happy and really, really, really (totally, utterly and sometimes paralyzingly) fearful. My husband understands my desire to pursue my interests, but he sure doesn't understand my fear.
In the meantime, I'm always on the lookout for inspiration. For people who are great at what they do, are smart, who create aesthetically pleasing 'stuff'. Even better, they're open about their journey, especially the practical one of actually making a living doing this thing that we find 'fun'. Lisa Congdon, is one of these. And, for the first time, I've been able to hear her, say her own words, her philosophy. Now if only she could stream her class about becoming a professional illustrator. Or I could go to San Francisco (yes, please!).
*And, after reading Lisa's blog post about her class, I totally agree. Art school did not (at the time I went) teach anything about how to be an artist/businessperson. Hell, mine wouldn't even given me Liberal Arts credit for taking a Marketing course at another accredited school.